my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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