how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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