Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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