There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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