Don't make out with my wife yet
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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