Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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