Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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