I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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