FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
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I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
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cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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