watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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