Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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