oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
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That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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