sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize