Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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