i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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