never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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