No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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