So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
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i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
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If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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