I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize