sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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