You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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