Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
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He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
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Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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