The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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