don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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