Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I need moral support for this bender
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
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To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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