you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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