I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I smell stomach acid.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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