So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
not ubering you a puppy
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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