after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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