I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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