My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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