there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
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hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
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Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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