D3 body, D1 cock
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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