My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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