soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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