He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize