Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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