I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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