whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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