the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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