there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What a dumb baby whore.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize