I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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