She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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