...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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