Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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