All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know her cup size but not her name....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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