its not stalking. its research.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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