Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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