remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize