You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize